Broaddus Homeschool: "Yes You Can!"

I literally have tears in my eyes right now after reading this article: Yes You Can. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but I truly believe that God wants my family on the "homeschooling road" right now. But, like the article said, when we made this choice it seemed like we were bombarded with difficulties, bad days, bad tempers, HURRICANES (Yes, our first year!), and just a whole lot of negative stuff to try and make homeschooling out to be a bad thing--a bad choice for us. I have lost count of the number of "bad" days we have had in homeschooling. I have prayed constantly for a good day, just one good day, then another, then another. I kept thinking if my boys would just listen and do their work and stop fighting with me and each other, we would be successful. Well, it just seems like things have gotten worse, and NOW I'm thinking that I have failed as a teacher, as a parent, as a wife--ONE BIG FAT FAILURE! My prayers now to God are, "I just can't do it.", "I can't do this by myself.", "I need help, God.", "Please help me.". Pretty desperate, huh? Finding this article has put it ALL IN PERSPECTIVE.

The author of the article talked about Romans 7:15-25, and she said, "The gist of the passage is that “…the things that I don’t want to do, those are the things that I do and the things that I do want to do, I do not...” Does that not sound just like our home schooling struggle? I do not want to fuss at my kids or neglect my lesson plans or fall behind, but that is where I find myself over and over. I want to be patient and loving and encouraging and to find the methods that work for my child, but I just cannot seem to accomplish that. Paul was talking about our human nature struggling against our desire to please God; I see such a clear correlation to my desire to be a good home schooler." THAT IS SO ME RIGHT NOW! I keep telling my husband that I don't want to yell at the kids or get behind on schoolwork or argue with my 10 year old. I want to be patient, understanding, efficient, timely, but I feel like I can't do any of it right now. It's the two sides struggling against one another. My desire to do want is right and pleasing to God, and my humanly sinful side that has a short fuse and just wants to give up. God tells us that we can't do everything on our own. That's not how we're wired. We need God, just like my kids need me to be their mom.

There comes a point in your life that you get to that "breaking point" and realize that you can't do it all, and do it perfectly. As the author states, "When I admit that I cannot do it, it is at that moment that God can begin to work. 'When I am weak, then am I strong.'" In the Bible, Paul says, Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 –

“My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

I am being brought to my knees to see that I am weak, and imperfect, but I AM NOT A FAILURE. You might fail at something, but you can ALWAYS try again. (Just like the 408 formulas that failed before Formula 409 worked.) God will be my strength where I am weak. God will give me patience where I lack it. God will fill me with His love so I have enough to share with others. God will prepare me for the day ahead, so I won't feel like I'm behind schedule. God can do it all. I just need to let him. *SIGH*

Please if anyone is reading this blog, and you have been struggling with homeschool, or anything for that matter, you might think about reading Mary James article. It helped me. It might help you.

Love to all,

Cindy